@RealCarrotFacts: On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot
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@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
@Roweboat13G: For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over.
@Dr_powpow: Like every good global citizen I've reduced my power consumption by 50% by running all my power off the neighbours while they're on vacation
@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.