@RealCarrotFacts: On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot
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@AmishPornStar1: I need a way to keep fit that will make me look like a crazy person so no one will approach me while I do it. -inventor of powerwalking
@daemonic3: "Damn girl, you look hot" Really? "Like a sexy little italian car" DID YOU JUST CALL ME FIAT?!?
@OctopusCavemann: Man: Is there a doctor in the house? Dr: I have a PHD in literature Man: This man is having a heart attack! Dr: Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die...