@MavenofHonor: On some level I've always known that caterpillars drink dewdrops. But I never sat down to think about it while crossing the street before.
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@rickolantern: When my goldfish starts acting like a jerk I remind him that his bowl is microwave-safe
@cool_as_heck: ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark
@murrman5: [during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all