@krisv_723: On Sunday's I Iike to dress as Satan & stand outside of churches, yelling at the parishioners that it's not working & I own their soul.
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@HanaMichels: Yes, Neil, everything sounds better when you have a great voice. That's how sound works.
@lcwf70: Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco.
@better_off_dad: *At the bank Robber:THIS IS A STICKUP! Me:Looks like a gun R:SHUT UP! M:Well, 'THIS IS A GUN' is way scarier Teller:He's got a point
@SkinnerSteven: I wrote 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' on a balloon. However, before I could propose... -I popped the question