@10InchesPlus: On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn't spending recording or performing music.
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@UncleBob56: Wife: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves your mom. W: Your disgusting! M: W: What is it? M: I always wished she'd taught you how to cook.
@jergarl: Me: OMG I'm so tired. Ambien: Your wife would look AMAZING covered in mustard and chocolate chips. Me: I'm on it. A: And Cheetos. M: K.
@AaronFullerton: We can teach kids there's no "i" in team but it's way more important to teach them that there's no "a" in definitely.