@10InchesPlus: On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn't spending recording or performing music.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? "I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man" *under his breath* holy shit he's good
@goodersuk74: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout
@felixoshea: If Superman were a realtor, he could describe literally any apartment in the world as 'a stone's throw from the beach'.
@david8hughes: [pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha