@themorris23: On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
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@nPhelendriqal: I just wrote a check for 6 dollars, so I don't really wanna hear about your 'summer' house.
@myles_morrison: I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.
@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.