@brideylee: On the list of things I fear the most, "death" comes in as a close second to "audience participation"
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@jeff_ratfamily: A ladies magazine told me to compliment my wifes booty. So I told her I was glad it wasn't hairy. I need a place to stay
@Kate_Goldsmith: I thought I typed "twitter" in my URL, but I got Hot Russian Ladies somehow instead. So, I guess I have a wife in the mail....
@GotBadTouched: People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.