@cynicanoldicus: On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck.
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@joe_binkley: (Cargo pants filled with tater tots) "How many do I need to get an Xbox?" "Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"
@TheToddWilliams: LASSIE: Arf! What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well? L: Arf arf He's dead? You sure? L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash
@GensPlace: She was a very heavy smoker with a cough that curdled your blood. Phlegm fatale, they called her.