@cynicanoldicus: On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck.
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@TimB5150: I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!
@954LeenO: I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] What's ur greatest strength? "I wear too much cologne" No, I mean- "A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"