@fuqtarded: On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking.
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@Reverend_Scott: Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*
@Reverend_Scott: Me: "...american cheese, toasted." Her: "What kind of cheese?" Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted?" Me: "I'll just make it myself."
@GrantTanaka: Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]
@LuckyLea13: I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself