@AnkCoupleTO: [job interview]
HR: *reading medical history* it says here you're a former addict?
Me: *snorting lines off the desk* typo
@LaLuchaNix: [Pulling brother's life support plug]
*whispers in ear*
"This is for that time you cheated at Monopoly."
@StinkyGr33n: *Creating bees*
God: Make them highly beneficial to the ecosystem.
Angel: Sure thing, boss.
God: Give 'em the greatest knees of all time
@noimnotjewish: Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that "It's 4 am!" attitude, mmkay?
@othersome: I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs.
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