@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.
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@iwearaonesie: "UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum
@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Valentine's Day was created by a woman than didn't get what she wanted for Christmas.
@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.