@bobsaget: On the toilet for 20 minutes. Wish you were here.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children.
@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
@MissNaughty1801: 7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?