@Papa_Mex: On the way in a fox ran across the road ahead of me...I slowed down pretty quick cuz i knew a bunch of English dudes on horses were next...
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@That_Damn_Duck: Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.
@ThisOneSayz: Maid of Honor speeches shouldn't end with, "I'll see you all at her next one." I know that now.
@tuckerflodman: *Mom makes me take out the garbage* *Garbage and I begin to date* *I start taking things too fast* *Garbage dumps me*
@dysondoc: The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.