@Parker_Simpson: On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump
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@Reverend_Scott: GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.
@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
@Underchilde: Success is measured by how long it takes your boss to notice you’re not at your desk.