@notalogin: On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say "the food" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon.
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@daemonic3: Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah
@Pro_Jones_: (NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.
@huntigula: [Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there