@ShesARealGenius: On your first day in prison, make sure you go up to the warden and compliment the décor.
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@apparentlysmart: Lois Lane was fired from the Daily Planet after she knocked Clark Kent's glasses off and then panicked thinking a plane was in the building.
@Thynebear: [puts baby in highchair] Ohhh HIGH chair, I get it. That explains why all you do is eat, sleep & drool you stupid little stoner.
@garrettbarry70: Staying at my daughter's place again this weekend. Can't wait till 3am so I can wake her to tell her there's a moth in my room.
@lisaxy424: No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates.