@brendohare: On your first day of prison, go up to the biggest, scariest guy there, and ask him "Have you heard of updog?"
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@jazmasta: Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone.
@Manali_Shetye5: Me: I have to lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise everyday. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet, eat healthy and hit the gym. Me: Is that cake?
@missteenussr: Never feel like you're too small to make a difference. After all, a tiny raisin has the ability to RUIN EVERYTHING ITS BAKED IN.
@BuckyIsotope: When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you.