@brendohare: On your first day of prison, go up to the biggest, scariest guy there, and ask him "Have you heard of updog?"
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@The_JRM: If I were in a musical, I'd get fired in a week. Keep a straight face while someone looks in my eyes & sings to me? Nope. Sorry. Impossible.
@AndyAsAdjective: Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: Wow this place is posh Me: *clicks fingers* Garçon, we'd like to order food Waiter: Entrées? Me: No, on plates, you fool
@thepoetknight: *pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*