@brendohare: On your first day of prison, go up to the biggest, scariest guy there, and ask him "Have you heard of updog?"
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@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.
@lolajxx: Co Worker- so are you a dog or a cat person? Me- Ummm i dunno, i usually have chicken or steak??Sometimes shrimp? What do you recommend?
@AndyAsAdjective: Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce