@duplicitron: Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee
@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
@MrSandeepP: Apparently you're not supposed to tell "That's what she said jokes" during the Board meeting because it's "inappropriate"