@JasonLastname: Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine.
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@DannyEarl: Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming
@huntigula: ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business
@noog: God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?