@ceejoyner: Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.
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@iYoungKhalifa: She:Hey,Whats up? Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin'? M:Nutshells. S:Really?Fine.What's poppin? M:Corn. *Blocked*
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@SortaBad: [Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther
@INeed_AnAdult: Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.