@ceejoyner: Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.
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@loribuckmajor: Ok you with pneumonia, go sit between the perfectly healthy lady and the guy with the blood shooting out of his leg and wait. -hospitals
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: You know your license's expired? Me: Didnt even know it was sick. Cop: Haha! Me: HAHA! Cop: Hehe.. Me: Eheh.. Cop: Step out of the car.
@13spencer: A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.
@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.