@SortaBad: Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done
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@rancheroni: [preparing for a date] me: what if she kisses me roommate: you kiss her back, bro me: ok me: *thinking* but why her back though
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?