@SortaBad: Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done
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@imchriskelly: Glad they redesigned Gmail---I've been dying to compose an email farther to the right.
@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.
@TwoSapphiresBlu: Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.