@duplicitron: Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
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@JohnDuffy21: Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.
@davidkenny100: Pal: my advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it! Later Me: Guess how many buses it took me to get here
@robo_junkie: I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail.