@donni: Once got sent to bird prison by confused air marshals
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ATorres2181: *walks in *wife is murdered *looks at mirror (Written in blood) YOUR NEXT "My next what? *from the closet "Oh sorry typo I meant you're.
@weinerdog4life: How do I stay in shape? I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it
@BCMontgo: I was going through a stack of yearbooks yesterday when I saw I was voted "Most Likely to Steal all These Damn Yearbooks".
@TheRobCee: [furiously trying to stir a stick of butter into a glass of milk] "Don't you wish there was an easier way?" [cut to carton of butter milk]