@1Happytwit: Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it.
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@lecalabara: You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body.
@psybermonkey: Wife: we argue a lot about money Therapist: well that's not uncommon among coupl- Me: Andrew Jackson was a genocidal murderer and should be taken off the twenty dollar bill. I am not budging on this, Diane.
@UncleBob56: Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk.