@MrsFancyPants77: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation.
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@Dawn_M_: So embarrassing when you leave the bathroom and someone points out you have toilet paper stuck to your teeth.
@IanDunt: So according to the PM, we're being asked to vote on basis of a plan which we are not allowed to see. You can tell she's a vicar's daughter.
@outsmartedmommy: Marriage after kids is basically two zookeepers arguing about who has to clean up the monkey poop on a daily basis.
@Brianhopecomedy: After I saw that my wife "Checked In" to the mall I called to report her credit cards stolen.