@MrsFancyPants77: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation.
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@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with
@TheMichaelRock: I put a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 inside a Samsung washing machine and now I own a nuclear warhead.
@gato_fumando: i'll have a burg please [waiter looks confused] a burg. a meat frisbee. a seared bovine disc. a hamburger sandwich. a bunned beefling my man
@vvolfsz: The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road