@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they
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@AristotlesNZ: FB friend's boy in a baseball uniform pic: "Our little pitcher" Me: "He looks more like a catcher" Nobody got it. So I'm back here..
@KatieBurnett: I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented "rip". Stop the internet, I wanna get off
@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.