@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DiamondLou69: Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school.
@anerdonfire2: The good news: She actually gave me her number The bad news: She asked for it back after I fell and tripped into a plant walking away
@pixelatedboat: To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice
@markleggett: People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster.