@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LoveNLunchmeat: When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.
@3sunzzz: H: What is that you're having for lunch? Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*
@gogocosmonaut: Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around.
@jenlaw_11: Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!