@thetobbie: Once, on Twitter, I followed a woman & she followed me back & we laughed & talked about life & how she was a man from Brooklyn...
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@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@Fred_Delicious: I have 2020 vision. My eyesight is terrible but I can see precisely 3 years into the future