@thetobbie: Once, on Twitter, I followed a woman & she followed me back & we laughed & talked about life & how she was a man from Brooklyn...
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@KKAlThani: Whenever I go for a jog and it's raining, I like to pretend that someone killed my family and I have to get strong and avenge their death.
@buhsbaby_baby: "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" -I remind myself as I flirt with the fire extinguisher I've mistaken for a cute guy
@AmandasNotFunny: Sitting in my car eating McD's, and I hear a quiet voice behind me go: "Here, we have The Fat Woman in her natural habitat.."
@dril: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl