@thetobbie: Once, on Twitter, I followed a woman & she followed me back & we laughed & talked about life & how she was a man from Brooklyn...
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@rogerbellin: future historians will point to this and ask how we didn't see the third world war coming
@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about
@jsam1126: A guy on the street just said "nice feet" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?
@ericsshadow: 7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch.