@ScottLinnen: Once upon a midnight dreary, While I pondered my next mealy, Came an empty tapping, a rapping at my pantry door. Quoth the Ramen “ever poor”
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@envydatropic: If you read enough tweets you can tell the approximate time the tweeter switched from coffee to alcohol
@Book_Krazy: Ok, don't let them know you're a puma Interviewer: We're very impressed! You've got the job! "REALLY!?! I'M SO HAPPY I JUST PUMA PANTS"
@Home_Halfway: It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin.