@MrJeberling: Once while eating bacon I said I was "getting piggy with it" and now I have no friends.
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@ScottyDsntKnow3: My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!
@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
@OtherDanOBrien: [a 2nd grade classroom 5 yrs from now] TEACHER: Khaleesi M, please leave Khaleesi S alone. Khaleesi T, I still need your permission slip