@Emperor_Laykes: One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box
@byronblurb: Me: My head hasn't been in the right place lately. GF: You might want to check up your ass.
@better_off_dad: God: I made the sky a canvas, the sun & the clouds an ever changing painting of colorful beauty. Devil: I made potato chips.
@KimmyMonte: Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH