@novicefather: One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell.
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@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.
@KKAlThani: Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying "curiosity was here"
@nedostup: I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it.