@topshelftyson: One day I hope to be doing so well that people accuse me of being a clone
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@joeljeffrey: That awkward sexual tension when everyone leaves the kitchen and you're left all alone with a chocolate cake.
@hazelmotes1: Son, I grew up in a golden age when the bookstore didn't have an entire section labeled "Teen Paranormal Romance."
@markedly: Things Ted Cruz and I have in common: 1. Love butter 2. Shy eyes 3. Resurrected from the grave during satanic bloodmoon ritual 4. Brown hair
@evofck: My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.