@shesananteater: One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, "Who's that hottie?" and I'm gonna be like, "WHO IS SAYING THAT?"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheDreamGhoul: the guy at the liquor store didn't card me and it hurt my feelings so I said I was a cop and idk what to do next we're just standing here
@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then
@bigmacher: Me: "Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot.
@radtoria: Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along.