@shesananteater: One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, "Who's that hottie?" and I'm gonna be like, "WHO IS SAYING THAT?"
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@Gowitty: Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
@BooFricketyHoo: I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door.
@NicestHippo: *runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? "I'm a doctor" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor