@shesananteater: One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, "Who's that hottie?" and I'm gonna be like, "WHO IS SAYING THAT?"
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@HallpassCanada: Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write "GREAT" on the side of thier car with my keys!
@SnizzleFrizzle: What an adorable idea. My coworkers have been writing names on food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yogurt called Debbie.
@david8hughes: [bank robbery] Robber 1: put money in the bag Robber 2: how come u get to be robber 1? Robber 4: how do u think I feel. There's only 3 of us
@poopiest: It is 2022. Everyone has bought a pair of beats by dre. Doctor dre chuckles, his mind control device is ready