@shariv67: One day ISIS is going to screw up and accidentally hit 'add your location' to a tweet.
@GuyThe_Guy: This LSD may be taking a turn, but I think this pony rabbit is a piece of shit insurance salesman.
@Beatonm5: "..,you will die in seven days"
*creepy voice on the phone*
Me; "new phone, who dis?"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What are you doing?!
5-year-old: Hugging my sister.
Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle.
5: The good ones do.
@Jenny4ashley: [tries to blow a kiss]
Kiss: I have a boyfriend
@JanieBoBanie3: My fantasy is having two men at once.