@LoverOfComics94: One day she says "Treat me like a princess," the next she's pissed that I married her off in exchange for an alliance with Spain. Women...
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@Jade_VK: [alarm clock goes off] ok it's happening again it's a day and it's here again *googling* day again why how to unsubscribe days
@eeethanford: [awesome life of caterpillar] 1) all I do is eat, awesome 2) time to sleep in this cozy bag, awesome 3) *wakes up*OMG I CAN FLY NOW, AWESOME
@BadassBarbie11: The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.
@Cheeseboy22: After taking a bunch of 7-year-olds on a field trip to the Natural History Museum, I realized their favorite exhibit was "Elevator Buttons."