@longwall26: One day, some dude was all "You know where we should save our money? Inside a statue of a pig," and everybody went "That is a GREAT idea."
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@GodfreyElfwick: Mark my words, the amount of candles I'm gonna burn tonight is going to make ISIS think long and hard before doing any more terrorism.
@jtrulez: She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
@IamSoffWilliams: We all have that special someone in our lives that we wish would get run over by a truck.
@littleshark87: "Auntie,how big can frogs be?" "Depends how many cars roll over it" I should do Kids TV shows.