@charliedelta7: One day, someone will call me sir without adding "I think we're going to have to ask you to leave."
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@JaymayAllDay: You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty.
@dafloydsta: Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to.
@BroIsMeeeee: "sir do u know why i pulled u over" *shrugs* "License- *hands cop box of crayons* "sir plea- *hands cop coloring book* *cop starts coloring*