@Thereeveryday: One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away.
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@desusnice: i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
@LoveNLunchmeat: him: [has seen Jaws, is smart, knows what to do when he hears the Jaws theme music] me: [has never seen Jaws, is dead now]
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
@rockymomax: ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer