@simoncholland: One fun thing about kids crying is trying to determine if they broke a crayon or got their arm stuck in a piece of farming equipment.
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@JustDontBugMe: Mom: Why didn't you answer your phone? M: I was in a lecture. Mom: Where are you now? M: Walking the dog. Mom: You need better excuses. M: It's the truth. Mom: Then put the dog on.
@Kendragarden: I call my nephews "Dude" and "Homie" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)
@XplodingUnicorn: When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.