@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.
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@OtherDanOBrien: Dentist: You don't have to floss all your teeth. Only the ones you wanna keep! *I start flossing his teeth* D: Um... Me: These are mine now
@saucy_peaches: HR writing an email saying I'm a naughty girl is not an acceptable excuse to not take awareness training... Apparently
@Sassafrantz: I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: "You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."
@Rollmaninoz: Cashier: haha that’s a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:… Cashier:… Me:… Cashier:… Me: yep