@Gooooats: "One good thing about me is that I'm a great listener," I said while some kind of noise came out of her face.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@: WAITER: Would you like Parmesan cheese on your meal? ME: Yes WAITER: Say when ME: Well now makes the most sense
@CantWaitToNap: *Googles “exercise apps for lazy people”* *Downloads five apps* That should do it for today.
@The_Grant_Boldt: "Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?" "Okay" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* "I love you mom"
@GavinProbably: Said "large" today at Starbucks, and everyone starting chanting "Venti, Venti, Venti!" and a mass suicide occurred.