@badbanana: One horribly inappropriate comment and you'll never be shown another baby photo at work ever again. Totally worth it.
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@sarcasticmommy4: I tried that whole "if you love something, set it free" thing but my kids are still here.
@Reverend_Scott: [Apple meeting] We need an honest iPhone 6 slogan. "How about, iPhone 6: Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices." Too honest, Carl.
@KeetPotato: guy at seaworld: "it's a cross between an eel and a shark, we're asking everyone to pick a name for him" wife: "steve" me: "sharkeel o'neal"