@fireland: One man. One dream. One crazy summer. Three wizards. Fourteen cobras. Ten thousand condoms. I dunno, I'm just listing things.
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@brianbowman73: I was once put in the 'friend zone," but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'
@kellysdf: According to the NSA, most of my calls are me saying, "I forgot what you told me to pick up at the store."
@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.