@iGreenMonk: One man's internet wife is another man's internet husband.
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@Bownuggets: HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER
@dafloydsta: [therapy] "Where does your fear of spiders come from?" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay
@VancityReynolds: Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.