@mofrorock: One man's sprinkler is another man's bidet
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@kylekinane: Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane.
@CornOnTheGoblin: scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit
@WarrenHolstein: Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?
@mattZillaaaa: I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I've killed a spider with a full bottle of windex