@BeingDBEAST: One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
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@all_about_today: What I've learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh.
@kwirkyKerri: Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)
@Death_Buddy: ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? "Haha a man obviously" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*
@noog: "What sins have you committed?" Well... [20 minutes later] ... finally fit my whole fist up there. I shit you not. Father? *vomiting sound*