@BeingDBEAST: One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
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@aveuaskew: If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags.
@Arroia: Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
@panmidwest: DATE: …your profile said you were a bodybuilder? ME [assembles crash test dummies for a living]: that's right
@thepunningman: Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman