@JasonBanksComic: One of my exes left me bcuz, according to her, I'll never amount to anything. 15 years later & let me just say this... Lucky guess.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: The real miracle is that the human race still exists after being stupid enough to kill the guy who could turn water into wine... Idiots.
@BreachingBad: She : You have a girlfriend. Me : No. I had. She : Where did she go? Me : She Ransomware.
@That_Damn_Duck: Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science.