@leechee420: One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I'm going to visit.
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@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.
@AnkCoupleTO: Husband: *buys her flowers* Wife: No H: *buys her jewellery* W: No H: *starts extreme couponing* W: *gives him all the sex*
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.
@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end HER: wtf?