@SondraDeeMe: One of my lamps has a light bulb which has outlasted my past 7 relationships.
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@slimmy_shady: Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?
@GrantTanaka: Bruce Wayne was terrified of bats & he became Batman, so anyway that's why I became ClownBaboonDentistMan
@LisaFarted: The last time I twisted the night away it resulted in two law suits and a medicare plan.