@SondraDeeMe: One of my lamps has a light bulb which has outlasted my past 7 relationships.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@brendohare: A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. "We just yelled his name," said the head explorer. "Can't believe no one thought of that."
@BeardedSteel: Cat: Lame. Just lame. Me: Shut up. Not everyone goes out Friday nights u know. Cat: Leave extra food out. Im bringing a girl home. Me: ...ok
@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"