@amydillon: One of my sons says he likes my new haircut, and the other will have to twirl a sign outside a Mattress Firm to pay for college, I guess.
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@LeslieInMpls: The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling.
@BlairLoudly: Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare.
@NewSATQuestion: #NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even
@WheelTod: Boss: I need that report by noon Me: Consider it done [2pm] Boss: Where's that report? Me: Huh? I thought we'd agreed to consider it done?