@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
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@GrantTanaka: *deep fries turkey *deep fries deck *deep fries backyard *deep fries house *deep fries neighborhood *deep fries los angeles
@GinAndJif: Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?
@mattsurely: Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce.