@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
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@DaddyJew: Gf: on a scale from 1-10, how annoyed are you with me right now? Me: 8 Gf: I can do better than that
@brockwilbur: My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account.