@DirtMcTurd: One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together
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@mattytalks: (Hot babe to me) your brooding drives me wild, what's going on inside your head (Me, thinking about a panini) I don't want to talk about it
@inigoomontoya: I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again
@caroline_umc: Ever been so completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.